This activity was designed by COPA with funding from the Telus Foundation.

COPA (Centre ontarien de prevention des agressions) is a Francophone not-for-profit organization offering services in both French and English. Founded in 1995, we are a recognized centre of excellence in the field of violence and bullying prevention by advocating for equity and inclusion.

COPA provides schools and communities with unique multimedia educational resources, as well as training, professional development and opportunities for capacity-building and consultation.

COPA works with provincial and local organizations and institutions across Ontario, such as parent groups, schools, boards, teachers’ unions, women’s groups, cultural, health and community centres and settlement agencies.

COPA’s unique approach is based on individual and collective empowerment, founded on principles of social justice to bring about positive change.

COPA cares deeply about human rights, especially those of children and all marginalized groups. We all belong.

To learn more about COPA, visit our website at infocopa.com.

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When your friends exclude you and then let you know on social media.


Scenario /

It’s Saturday night and you’re home watching a movie. You decide to check out SnapChat.

You see a Snap of all of your friends out at the mall. They went without you and didn’t tell you.

You get a sinking feeling. This isn’t the first time this has happened. In fact, it’s been happening a lot lately.

How would this make you feel?

When someone gets left out on purpose, it’s a kind of bullying.

It can feel pretty awful. It’s meant to make you feel lonely and lousy.

What you can do

Your Options /
A

Letting it go


Sometimes you just don’t want to deal with a situation right away, or head on, or dealing with it at all just seems too scary.

It’s totally OK to feel that way, you don’t have to take on the world.

Remember, you’re not the one doing the hurting.

A decision to let it go might be what you feel like. But it might eat at you, or let things get worse.

Remember that it’s a good idea to consider being ‘assertive’ (not aggressive).

It might be a good idea to figure out the pros and cons of either ignoring it or doing something.

Also, it might be a good idea to think of things that you like to do, to relax yourself a little, and give yourself time to think of what’s best for you.

Here are a couple suggestions:

  • Get creative! Paint, draw or do a craft…
  • Pop on some tunes! Listen to your favourite music and relax.
  • Play some soccer, jump rope, go for a run… the sky’s the limit!
  • Go to the library! Grab a magazine or a book. The world is your oyster!
  • Watch a movie! Pop on some Netflix, borrow a DVD, or turn on the TV. Relax and put your feet up.
B

Sending an assertive message


Sending a clear message to people can actually work and stop it from getting worse. It’s being assertive.

You could send a message saying:

  • Hey, I didn’t get the memo. Didn’t know you were going to the mall.
  • I missed out. Let me know about it next time, OK?
  • Hope you had a blast. Would have wanted to go. Makes me sad no one told me.
C

Talking to someone in the group


When a group of people decide to target or hurt another person, there is very likely at least one person who is not OK with what’s happening.

In fact, usually one person has thought of the idea and the others go along with it, but they aren’t happy about it. They might even be miserable about it.

It might be a good idea to figure out who that might be, and reach out to them. Maybe they can help you figure out a solution.

How do you think you could talk to a friend about a difficult situation you feel uncomfortable with? You could:

Try to keep it low-key. (Keep on breathing!)

Maybe they can help you figure something out together…

You could:

  • Send your friend a text message to start the conversation.
  • Call the person and talk on the phone.
  • Ask them if they can Facetime or Skype chat.
  • Ask the person if they have time to meet up to talk face to face.

Email yourself the answers you submitted in this section